Common sex-related injuries and their cures (I)

Funmi Akingbade Due to the fact that married couples do some strange sexual stuffs, sex-related injuries are very common and they happen simply because somebody gets a little carried away. How common are sex injuries? From the number of various clients visiting my office, I do have comprehensive statistics of at least one-third of adults suffer some form of injury related to sex each year. While sexual activities are highly

physical, like any physical activity, they come with risks of injury. Although many can be prevented with bit of preparations and improved communication between couples, but love-making sometimes can really be a battlefield and getting hurt in the heat of passion could be a subject seldom discussed.

The most common sex injuries are a pulled muscle,  back injuries and heart attack. Did you know that penis can ‘break’ when it is erect. While an erection contains no actual bones, the penis does contain tubes that fill with blood during an erection. It’s the lining of these tubes that can rupture in response to heavy trauma or bending.

One client describes this, “My wife climbed on top. While thrusting her hips back in forth against my thrust rhythm, she decided to lean back without communicating this to me and I was not prepared for her quick descent backwards. I knew it was broken. Oh, it’s so painful.”

A broken penis is often accompanied by a snapping sound and dark bruising and requires immediate attention. Penile fractures are not actually fractures but rather a hard tear in the tissue of the penis. They occur when the erect penis is bent forcefully; there may be a popping or cracking sound. It affects about 10 per cent of men. Penile fractures are relatively uncommon, so you can still have fun doing lots of thrusting and bending in the bedroom. Just be wary of any quick movements that might bend the shaft excessively; so pay close attention.

Muscle strains are common during any type of physical activity and sex is no exception. Considering the fact that you can burn around 200 calories in a 30-minute sex session, it’s no surprise that many spouses report sex as the cause of many injuries. And since sexual arousal can release endorphins that reduce the experience of pain, these couples don’t realise they’re hurt until after sex is over. To help prevent muscle strains, pick positions that are comfortable. If they are not, make small adjustments to the angle of your hips or use your partner’s hands for more support.

You can get ‘burnt’ down below, I  had one woman who came in because her husband had performed oral sex on her too quickly after eating a spicy meal and drinking spicy ‘pepper-soup’ and she sustained painful sore burns from the hot sauce.

Common bumps and bruises are what happen daily, in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to smack your head against the headboard or scrape your knees along the carpet. Many of these injuries can be prevented by purchasing lots of pillows and creating a soft nest in and around your bed. Not only do pillows provide padding for soft landings, but they can be used when trying new positions.

Be careful; objects can easily lodge into your vagina. When inserting objects or sex toys  into your vagina, smooth-edged toys with a flared base are recommended to ensure nothing gets lost in your uterus. Natural lubricants are also essential to sex play, as they help minimise friction and reduce the risk of small tears that can lead to infection. Sometimes these objects can lead to small tears or cuts in the vagina, which can occur when sex is more vigorous and there isn’t enough lubrication. Women will often not feel any pain until after sex, because sexual arousal usually raises pain tolerance. But if the cuts are sizeable and bleeding doesn’t stop on its own, a woman should seek medical attention to prevent infection. ….. To be continued next week.

Questions and answers

Sex and sports don’t mix

My wife is a sports lady; she plays table tennis for a big club in the state. Ever since she became popular in the game, my sexual need has become a thing of insignificance.  Each time I plead with her, all she says to me is ‘sex and sports don’t mix. I need my energy for my career and we need the money for a better life.’ My need is no longer her concern. What do I do?

Mr. David Ogundipe

Sports stars earn millions, they are celebrities. Male sports stars are generally in great shape, however, this great shape may trigger high level of sexual activity which can actually be detrimental to their careers because of the strain it piles on their joints and muscles on top of their already demanding training schedules. But it has been discovered that this may not be the case for a female sports star. Sex therapist recognises the fact that the situation for female athletes is often very different, that is, sexual intercourse increases their alertness and readiness to perform. So, take time to explain this to your wife with a loving attitude and be her friend also.

I am sick and tired of my wife making expensive jokes about my penis

I think my wife is a sex sadist or what should I say? Each time it is time for us to make love, she naturally derives pleasure in making jokes about my penis. If it is not about the size, it will be about the shape or about the performance or about the colour. She has a way of saying something nasty that will immediately deflate my libido and arousal. One day, I had to beat her up after her nasty joke but she always claims it is a way of getting her in the mood for sex. I am confused. What can I do?

Sunny Kingsley

One of the first-class counsel I give to couples about to wed is never to make jokes about their partners’ sex organs, because the most toxic thing you would want to do to really turn anyone off is to make a funny comment about his penis, her breast or vagina. Partners take these comments and jokes very personal and it can affect their total well-being for life. Let your wife know that your penis is like the centre of a man’s world, and tell her every man is so sensitive about it. So, if during sex or right before it, she passes funny comments to get herself in the mood for sex, she has not only destroyed your mood but also rejected your person. This is the worst thing she could do to turn you off completely.

I can’t explain what my wife wants?

Can you kindly explain the science of a female desire linked to her breast? I am clueless how to satisfy my wife’s fantasies, she only gets aroused when I only satisfy her breast. To her, I should treat her breast in a special way but all my efforts have amounted to a rigid stony ground on bed. How do I get through her? Do you have an idea how to give her breast a special treat? And she is really busty anyway.

 Nurudeen Oba

First and foremost, you have to mentally register her breast as one of your ‘turn-ons.’ Once in a while, deliberately let your eyes wander around her breasts and before you know it, you will begin to discover how absolutely gorgeous those breasts are. Make it a habit to be fascinated with her breasts each time she lifts her shirt over her head, and watch as her large breasts bounce whenever she moves around. You will realise that sometimes, you will notice a hard on by just looking at her breasts. It will really become a turn-on. During the time for love making, make sure your eyes roam on her breasts. Encourage her to laugh; this will make her breasts to jiggle. Learn how to undo the hook of a brassier in a very seductive manner, allowing her bra to hang loose over her large breasts; this will make the nipples hard, standing at attention and begging to be sucked. At such moment, take each one of them in your mouth and suck gently. What you will notice is that immediately your wife will throw her head back and groan softly, then let out a cry of pleasure and invariably collapse in pleasure. At this point, you have given her breasts a good treat which will make her satisfy you also. When it comes to the craving for sexual variety, researchers have discovered that women want sex just as much as men do, but men do not take out quality time to locate their hot spots.

My husband was an ex-hardcore sex worker

With my husband, sex irritates me big time. I don’t even enjoy it anymore all because my husband was an ex-hardcore sex worker. Each time we are making love, my husband must scream so hard and say some dirty languages. As a matter of fact, he is so obsessed with dirty talks and the worst of it all is that he mentions some strange names that make me think promiscuity just runs in his veins. If sex is not on agenda, my husband is a nice, kind-hearted person, but as soon as it’s time for sex, I feel like an ‘ileya’ ram going to be slaughtered’. This looks like a sex prison to me, please help.

Mamiska Itanda

Have you ever sat your husband down and really had a heart to heart discussion about this? If no, you just have to summon courage and nicely share your fears with him. While discussing with him, let him know that mentioning names of ex-sex-partners is the height of low respect for you. Let him know that you deserve some respect as the legal wife. On the other hand, you should know that some spouses regard screaming as sexy. But many spouses do not realise that screaming can only be sexy if their partner is also a screamer. Most of the time, partners could get turned off when their ear drums are getting ready to explode. For hardcore sex workers,  who have formed the habit of screaming, they just have to deliberately work on it to change if it is offensive to their partners. Try to turn down the volume. Besides, the neighbours may hear you! Same precaution goes for obsessive dirty talk.